Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
too bad you live with your parents still
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
