Soap is not a condiment
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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