I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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