Screwed.edu
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
