just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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