First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
