Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
