Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
