I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
