We're like a lot better than the average bears
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
