what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
