Sry I called you an 8
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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