Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
