god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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