Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
