Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
