put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
