So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
