So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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