Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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