So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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