Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
