she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize