no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
