3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
