I cockslap morals
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
