You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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