and you said cock pushups were impossible
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
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