I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
