Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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