and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Can I color on your dick again?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
