He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
