are you still at the devil's house?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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