What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
