So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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