I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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