I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
