Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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