Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
