your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
The adults are the big ones right?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
