If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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