You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
