fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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