when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
