naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He had one of those small greek statue penises
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
