At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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