Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize