do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
is wine microwaveable?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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