areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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