but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
