i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
