Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Sorry about my life...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize