I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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