Tell her she can't have a vagina
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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