Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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