Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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