i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
