If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
