you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
