I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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