also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
