i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
