If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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