You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
