ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
