As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Still dying that you shit outside
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
