Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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