She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize