I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
