Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
And then my night got REAL pukey
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
