The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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