I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
