used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
