I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
