Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
