You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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