how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Randomize
