so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
