I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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