I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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